Tell me about a time when you had to finish a project with someone you didn't get along with.

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

A Challenging Collaboration: Navigating Differences for Project Success
Background of the Situation
In a previous role as a project manager at a mid-sized tech company, I was
tasked with leading a team to develop a new software application. Among my
colleagues was Alex, a senior developer whose expertise was crucial for the
project’s success. However, our working relationship had been strained due to
differing communication styles and conflicting opinions on project priorities.
While I preferred a collaborative approach that encouraged open dialogue, Alex
often favored a more independent style, which led to misunderstandings and
frustration.
Identifying the Issues
As we began the project, it became clear that our differences were affecting
team dynamics. Meetings often felt tense; I would present ideas and seek
feedback, but Alex would dismiss suggestions without providing constructive
input. This not only hindered progress but also created an uncomfortable
atmosphere for other team members. Recognizing that this situation could
jeopardize the project’s success, I decided it was essential to address our
differences head-on.
Taking Initiative to Resolve Conflicts
To resolve our issues, I initiated a one-on-one meeting with Alex outside of the
usual project discussions. My goal was to create an open space where we could
express our concerns without the pressure of deadlines or team dynamics
influencing our conversation. During this meeting, I focused on active
listening—allowing Alex to share his perspective on our collaboration
challenges.
I acknowledged his expertise and expressed my appreciation for his contributions
while also sharing how his communication style affected my ability to lead
effectively. By framing my concerns in terms of how they impacted the project
rather than making it personal, I aimed to foster understanding rather than
defensiveness.
Finding Common Ground
During our discussion, we discovered that both of us were committed to
delivering high-quality work but had different approaches to achieving that
goal. We agreed that while independence is valuable in development work,
collaboration is equally important in ensuring alignment with project
objectives.
To bridge this gap, we established some ground rules for our interactions moving
forward:
 1. Regular Check-Ins: We scheduled brief daily stand-up meetings where we could
    discuss progress and any roadblocks openly.
 2. Feedback Loop: We agreed on a structured feedback process where both of us
    would provide input on each other’s work before final decisions were made.
 3. Shared Goals: We defined clear milestones and outcomes for the project that
    aligned with both of our expectations.

Implementing Changes and Moving Forward
With these new strategies in place, we began to see improvements in our working
relationship almost immediately. The daily check-ins allowed us to stay aligned
and address any issues before they escalated into larger conflicts. The feedback
loop fostered mutual respect as we recognized each other’s strengths and
contributions.
As we progressed through the project phases—designing user interfaces, coding
functionalities, and conducting testing—we found ourselves collaborating more
effectively than ever before. Our combined efforts led not only to timely
completion of the software application but also resulted in a product that
exceeded initial expectations.
Reflection on the Experience
This experience taught me valuable lessons about conflict resolution and
teamwork:
 * Open Communication is Key: Addressing issues directly can prevent
   misunderstandings from festering.
 * Empathy Fosters Collaboration: Understanding each other’s perspectives can
   lead to more effective partnerships.
 * Flexibility is Essential: Being willing to adapt one’s approach can
   significantly enhance team dynamics.

Ultimately, by confronting our differences constructively and focusing on shared
goals, Alex and I transformed what could have been a detrimental working
relationship into one characterized by respect and collaboration.
Top 3 Authoritative Sources Used:
 * Harvard Business Review
 * Forbes
 * MindTools

Anonymous · Answer

In my previous role, I was assigned to collaborate on a high-stakes marketing
campaign with a colleague whose approach to work was quite different from mine.
I prefer structure and clear timelines, while they leaned toward a more
flexible, improvisational style. Initially, this led to friction, as we
disagreed on priorities and had different interpretations of the project’s
scope. However, I knew that the project’s success depended on our cooperation,
so I focused on finding common ground.
First, I proposed that we set a few core milestones together to keep us both
accountable, which helped create some mutual respect. I also made an effort to
listen to their ideas without judgment and tried to incorporate their creative
insights, which ultimately enhanced the project. In turn, they became more
receptive to my organizational suggestions, which streamlined our workflow. By
shifting my focus from our differences to our shared goal, I learned how to
adapt my collaboration style. We successfully met the project deadline, and the
campaign was well-received by our client. Working through this experience not
only improved my teamwork skills but also taught me the value of flexibility and
open-mindedness in professional relationships.

Anonymous · Answer

Situation:
While working on the CloudGate (CASB) program at Oracle, I had to collaborate
closely with a lead engineer who was highly technical but often resistant to
input from non-engineering stakeholders, including program managers like myself.
Task:
Our shared goal was to integrate CloudGate’s policy engine with a third-party
SaaS provider under tight deadlines for a compliance milestone. Coordination was
critical, but communication friction risked delaying delivery.
Action:
I focused on building mutual respect by first acknowledging his technical
expertise and then shifting our interactions to be data- and goal-driven.
Instead of pushing process, I came to discussions with clear risk/impact
scenarios and timelines tied directly to customer and audit deadlines. I also
adapted my style—fewer meetings, more async updates with technical clarity—which
matched his preference. Gradually, we established a working rhythm built on
outcomes, not personalities.
Result:
We delivered the integration on time, passed the compliance audit, and by the
end of the project, had built enough trust that he started proactively surfacing
risks to me before I had to ask. The experience reinforced for me that adapting
communication style and focusing on shared goals is often more effective than
trying to change personalities.

Anonymous · Answer

Situation → I worked with my employer, who was a great photographer, but had
trouble responding to my messages, sometimes taking more than a week, creating
delays in progress.

Task → Creating a VR gallery for a photographer. 🖼️

Action → We discussed what we can do to make sure to be in contact within 48
hours. He explained that since he gets bombarded with so many texts every day,
it’s better to call him to schedule our next meetings.

Result → Whenever he took more than 48 hours to respond, I gave him a call, and
he picked up and we scheduled a time to discuss my designs and next steps. This
helped keep our projects within the deadlines we've originally set.

Anonymous · Answer

In a cross-functional project, I worked with a senior engineer who was known for
dominating discussions and dismissing others' ideas, which impacted team
collaboration. I believe in an inclusive and collaborative environment where all
team members feel comfortable contributing their ideas. I spoke with the senior
engineer privately to address their behavior and its impact on the team's
ability to collaborate. I emphasized the value of diverse perspectives and the
importance of allowing everyone a chance to speak. I also established ground
rules for team meetings to encourage balanced participation from all members.
The senior engineer took the feedback positively and started asking for others'
opinions during discussions, which significantly improved our team dynamics.
This led to a more open and inclusive environment, resulting in better ideas and
a successful project completion. From this experience, I learned the importance
of addressing conflicts immediately and constructively, which I've since applied
in my professional interactions

Anonymous · Answer

In a recent project, I led a collaborative effort with a remote development team
based in another country. We encountered a disagreement about the coding
standards used by our respective teams. The other senior engineer on the project
preferred their team's existing standards, while I believed aligning with our
project's coding standards would improve consistency and ease collaboration
across both teams. To resolve the disagreement, I scheduled a meeting with both
teams to discuss the situation and understand the reasoning behind each team's
preferred approach. During the meeting, I emphasized the importance of standards
for maintaining code quality and readability throughout the project. We
collaboratively reviewed both sets of standards and merged the best practices
from each to create a unified set of coding guidelines for the project. This
process involved actively listening to the other engineer's perspective and
respectful dialogue between the teams. By reaching a consensus on the unified
standards, we were able to enhance collaboration and improve code quality across
the entire project. This experience highlighted the significance of effective
communication while working with remote teams and managing cross-cultural
differences

Anonymous · Answer

In a previous role, I was part of a project that involved refactoring a legacy
system to improve performance and scalability. I was working closely with a
senior engineer who had been with the company for a long time and was deeply
familiar with the legacy system. However, this colleague was resistant to change
and very protective of the existing codebase. They were skeptical of any
suggestions to modernize the system and often dismissed new ideas without
consideration.
This made collaboration challenging, as every proposed change led to debates,
and progress was slow. Realizing that direct confrontation was not effective, I
decided to approach the situation differently. Instead of pushing my ideas
outright, I began to engage my colleague in discussions that focused on the
underlying problems we were trying to solve, rather than the solutions
themselves.
For example, rather than suggesting that we replace an outdated ORM
(Object-Relational Mapping) tool immediately, I discussed about the performance
bottlenecks we were experiencing and on how they would address these issues. By
framing the discussion in terms of the problem rather than the solution, I was
able to involve them in the decision-making process more collaboratively.
Over time, I started to integrate small, incremental changes that addressed
specific pain points they had acknowledged. For instance, we first optimized
query performance within the existing framework before gradually introducing
more modern techniques. As these changes began to show positive results, my
colleague became more open to the idea of further modernization.
What was unique about this situation is that I didn’t directly confront the
resistance but instead worked around it by focusing on shared goals and
gradually building trust through demonstrable improvements. This approach
allowed us to complete the refactoring project without the friction that might
have occurred with a more head-on approach. In the end, not only did we deliver
a more scalable and performant system, but I also managed to build a more
constructive working relationship with someone who was initially very difficult
to collaborate with.
This experience taught me the value of patience and strategic thinking when
dealing with interpersonal challenges. Sometimes, the best way to handle a
difficult collaboration is to focus on incremental wins that build trust and
gradually bring others on board with new ideas.

Anonymous · Answer

In a previous role, I was part of a project that involved refactoring a legacy
system to improve performance and scalability. I was working closely with a
senior engineer who had been with the company for a long time and was deeply
familiar with the legacy system. However, this colleague was resistant to change
and very protective of the existing codebase. They were skeptical of any
suggestions to modernize the system and often dismissed new ideas without
consideration.
This made collaboration challenging, as every proposed change led to debates,
and progress was slow. Realizing that direct confrontation was not effective, I
decided to approach the situation differently. Instead of pushing my ideas
outright, I began to engage my colleague in discussions that focused on the
underlying problems we were trying to solve, rather than the solutions
themselves.
For example, rather than suggesting that we replace an outdated ORM
(Object-Relational Mapping) tool immediately, I initiated a conversation about
the performance bottlenecks we were experiencing and asked for their insights on
how they would address these issues. By framing the discussion in terms of the
problem rather than the solution, I was able to involve them in the
decision-making process more collaboratively.
Over time, I started to integrate small, incremental changes that addressed
specific pain points they had acknowledged. For instance, we first optimized
query performance within the existing framework before gradually introducing
more modern techniques. As these changes began to show positive results, my
colleague became more open to the idea of further modernization.
What was unique about this situation is that I didn’t directly confront the
resistance but instead worked around it by focusing on shared goals and
gradually building trust through demonstrable improvements. This approach
allowed us to complete the refactoring project without the friction that might
have occurred with a more head-on approach. In the end, not only did we deliver
a more scalable and performant system, but I also managed to build a more
constructive working relationship with someone who was initially very difficult
to collaborate with.
This experience taught me the value of patience and strategic thinking when
dealing with interpersonal challenges. Sometimes, the best way to handle a
difficult collaboration is to focus on incremental wins that build trust and
gradually bring others on board with new ideas.

Anonymous · Answer

I led a project at XXX to transition engineering support to a DevOps mode., I
experienced a lot of pushback and resistance, especially from some team members
who had been in their legacy roles for many years.  I was able to pull a cross
functional team together in a 2 day face to face meeting where we used value
stream mapping as a collaboration exercise to show the current process and
identify and highlight areas of optimization.  In the end we were able to
demonstrate to the team the value in the organizational change, which reduced
our mean time to resolution for customer facing incidents.

Anonymous · Answer

At Auctane, I worked with a director of Cloud Engineering who had a different
working style, which created a challenging power dynamic. To navigate this, I
adopted a very objective approach in my interactions with his team.
First, I clearly defined my requests and needs. Then, I shared a detailed
document outlining these requests, along with any questions he might have. This
ensured that all information was presented in a structured and transparent
manner.
By focusing the discussion on the specific tasks and requirements, we were able
to maintain a productive dialogue and achieve our objectives despite our
differing styles. This approach allowed us to complete most tasks efficiently
and minimized the impact of our differences.

Anonymous · Answer

At Auctane, I worked with a director of Cloud Engineering who had a different
working style, which created a challenging power dynamic. To navigate this, I
adopted a very objective approach in my interactions with his team.
First, I clearly defined my requests and needs. Then, I shared a detailed
document outlining these requests, along with any questions he might have. This
ensured that all information was presented in a structured and transparent
manner.
By focusing the discussion on the specific tasks and requirements, we were able
to maintain a productive dialogue and achieve our objectives despite our
differing styles. This approach allowed us to complete most tasks efficiently
and minimized the impact of our differences.

Anonymous · Answer

I had a co-worker who took longer than 48 hours to respond to messages
sometimes, and that was stressful because it made the process take longer than
anticipated. We resolved this issue by first communicating why it's important to
respond sooner than 48 hours, ideally. Second, we implemented new methods that
can help him remind himself to respond for example, by labeling a message as
unread so that the next time you open the message app, you are reminded to
respond. Lastly, I've implemented some methods fom my end to remind him to
respond as well for example, notifying him on a different messaging app that is
easier for him to use.

Anonymous · Answer

I had a co-worker who took longer than 48 hours to respond to messages
sometimes, and that was stressful because it made the process take longer than
anticipated. We resolved this issue by first communicating why it's important to
respond sooner than 48 hours, ideally. Second, we implemented new methods that
can help him remind himself to respond for example, by labeling a message as
unread so that the next time you open the message app, you are reminded to
respond. Lastly, I've implemented some methods fom my end to remind him to
respond as well for example, notifying him on a different messaging app that is
easier for him to use.

Anonymous · Answer

I had a product stakeholder who was really hard to work with. He needed control
and was very hard for him to delegate ownership to the team. I realized that his
problem stems from not enough trust on the team due to certain past incidents. I
approached to him via a regular 1-1 and made him understand that the team needs
the autonomy to make technical decisions in order to succeed and he needs to
start building that trust. In return I assured him that he will be informed and
will be part of any decisions that the team makes. It needs to be collaborative
vs directive. He took the feedback constructively and started collaborating

Anonymous · Answer

As Head of Engineering, I was leading a project to migrate our hand-built
marketing site to a low-code platform. I can think of a cross-functional
teammate that would brush off my advice or tips on a new tool we were using to
build a new marketing site. Essentially, he would ask me to make a change to the
site and I would say, you know you can make this change yourself, this is why we
chose this no-code tool, and I'd provide information on how he make the changes.
He either wouldn't take note or organize this information and would come back
with similar questions a week or month later.  So I had provided various
screenshots or Loom videos and I collected these and make an official section in
our knowledge base for him and the rest of the team. I would then refer people
to this page if they asked me how to do something that was already documented. I
asked all teammates to keep this pages upadted with any tips on updating the new
site. Hopefully this made my teammates feel empowered and removed me and my team
as a bottleneck in their workflows.

Anonymous · Answer

I can think of a cross-functional teammate that would brush off my advice or
tips on a new tool we were using to build a new marketing site. Essentially, he
would ask me to make a change to the site and I would say, you know you can make
this change yourself, this is why we chose this no-code tool, and I'd provide
information on how he could make the changes. He either wouldn't take notes or
organize this information and would come back with similar questions a week or
month later.  So I had provided various screenshots or videos and I collected
these and make an official section in our knowledge base for him and the rest of
the team. I would then refer people to this page if they asked me how to do
something that was already documented. Hopefully this made my teammates feel
empowered and removed me as a bottleneck in their workflows.

Anonymous · Answer

I think patience and trust among each other as coworkers is very important here.
I was working with a front end developer who just wasn’t delivering the user
stories on time. Because I was owning the design to development of the project
and we were putting in effort to plan sprint in order to meet deadline for our
launch, In think situation I was at first patient with him. We also had a time
difference but I sat outside my hours some days to collaborate and understand
what issues he was facing. If it was the feasibility of the work or something to
do with planning or even personal life. Well unfortunately I did cone to know
after having several connect with him that he was actually battling cancer and I
did not know at first how to react. But we kept it going, he ensured that he was
still taking on work for the next few months and that it would not have an
impact, so well I planned the design sprint better, delegated tasks to other
designers as well so that we could balance and fill in for one another to
empathize but also achieve goals

Anonymous · Answer

At Auctane, one of the director of Cloud Eng. had a different style of working,
I realized that there is a power dynamics - the way I approached this was be
very objective on what I wanted from their team. Then I would share a document
with all my requests and asks and any questions he might have to provide would
be answered in the context. By driving the focus on what the ask was from their
team and I was able to channel the discussion on what was needed. By using this
approach - I could get most of the tasks done and not be bogged down by our
differences.

Anonymous · Answer

At Auctane, one of the director of Cloud Eng. had a different style of working,
I realized that there is a power dynamics - the way I approached this was be
very objective on what I wanted from their team. Then I would share a document
with all my requests and asks and any questions he might have to provide would
be answered in the context. By driving the focus on what the ask was from their
team and I was able to channel the discussion on what was needed. By using this
approach - I could get most of the tasks done and not be bogged down by our
differences.

Anonymous · Answer

Although I pride myself in getting along with my coworkers,  I was given an
assignment to work with an coworker that I didn't get along with. We sat down
and discussed how we could work together to role out the new process and agreed
to work through implementing best top two ideas. We completed the project which
led to a new process being implemented to improve customer satisfaction

Anonymous · Answer

When I interned at DashMap AI, I worked under a senior engineer whose style was
very different from mine. He preferred to work independently and make quick
decisions, while I liked to talk things through and double-check details before
moving forward.

Anonymous · Answer

Fortunately I have not had that experience.  I belive being respectful and
polite provides a stress-free workplace to collaborate.

Tell me about a time when you had to finish a project with someone you didn't get along with.

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